I know of only one man on the surface of the earth that will marry a God-fearing lady; a perfect wife material (who had vowed to keep her virginity until her wedding day) and not respect her or remain grateful to her for the rest of his life.
Growing up was not easy for her, especially owing to the fact that she refused to give up her virginity, in spite of the trials and temptations all around her – from self to friends and peer group; she kept herself. She was a good girl, morally upright, a perfect definition of a decent girl. She was one of the very few modern-day girls that allowed her mother’s advice and the teachings of the church to be her guide while growing up.
Her dream and desire was to marry a good man and have a good home. A man that will respect and believe in her. When it was time for that man to come into her life, Oladapo Alaba Oshe showed up. Dapo was a choir member, a drummer in The Living Faith Church, also works with a bottlying company in Kaduna, Nigeria. He appeared to her to be a good man so she gave him a chance. As they started their courtship, Dapo tried all he could to deflower her but she did not give in, she would always remind him of her stand; that she was saving herself for her future husband.
As time went on, and as fate would have it, they got married on 22nd of November 2014 at Living Faith Church, Barnawa. A lot of people heralded the ceremony. His friend, Oluwatosin Jide, was the best man but Jide’s fiancée Faith Egbezien was absent. It was a day of joy, especially for the new bride.
On their wedding night, Dapo who had been anxiously longing to have carnal knowledge of her, fulfilled his desire and deflowered her. The wife was happy things had gone as planned but after a little while, she became confused and couldn’t understand what was going on. Dapo abandoned her in bed after sex and went to sleep in the living room. But she assumed that it was the stress of the wedding, so she allowed him be.
The following morning, she greeted her husband Dapo, wearing a radiant smile as a responsible woman would do, only to receive a cold response that could break the heart of any woman expecting more from a man she had kept her dignity for. Dapo realised after having sex with her that he never loved her but was only lusting after her.
The wife on the other hand began to think that she had made the biggest mistake of her life, but, as a God fearing woman she encouraged herself, and took it to be one of the trials she has to overcome in her new matrimonial life.
Unfortunately, things continued that way and four months in to the marriage, Dapo showed her another side of his that he had been hiding. He became violent, using her as a punching bag, beating her black and blue. This Dapo was the complete opposite of the kind of man she wished to marry. He would always beat her and throw her things out when he was angry. But as a good wife, she never disrespected their union; she would always perform her duty as a wife even though he will not reciprocate. Twice she reported him to the pastors in the church, but all the preaching to him fell onto deaf ears.
One fateful night when they were in the bedroom, Dapo was in bed sleeping while she was sitting by the edge of the bed reading her Bible and a phone beeped, it was a message. She thought it was her phone, because they both had similar Nokia phones. She picked up the phone and, since it was only a number that appeared without a name, she got to read the romantic SMS / Abortion saga. Afterwards she realised it was not her phone, but that mistake made her stumble onto something; she dialled the number on her phone to save it, and a name pop-up, she was shocked, that night she got to know that Dapo was cheating on her with Faith Egbezien, her husband’s best friend’s fiancée. She could not sleep through the night, she went to the living room and prayed.
In the morning, after she had made breakfast, she dressed up and went to work. She left Dapo sleeping. When he woke up, he might have thought that the wife might have sighted the SMS.
She was in the office when a call from her husband came through, “this is rather unusual” she said to herself, as she picked the call and Dapo began to rain insults on her and accused her of not being nice to his friends whenever they come to visit him. She realised that Dapo was trying to put up a defence.
She told him to calm down and asked if she had ever said she didn’t want to see any of his friends? or if any of them had complained about to her to him before? He could not answer. So she proposed that he should invite his friends over for dinner, Dapo was happy with that arrangement and he fixed the next day for the dinner.
His friends arrived, including Faith Egbezien. Dapo kept stealing a look at his wife to see if she suspected anything but he couldn’t tell from her expression. After dinner and they had all left, he was still expecting her to say something about the message but she did not say a word.
Early this year Dapo’s wife became pregnant for the second time, They were very happy because she once had miscarriage so her joy knew no bounds.
On the 20th March 2016, they had a little misunderstanding and the beating started. Dapo came into play as the legion of beasts in him charged up, he began to beat her, throwing punches at her and kicking her stomach. As she lay there crying helplessly, she noticed that she was bleeding, which eventually led to her having the second miscarriage, she cried bitterly as if she was going to lose her eyes. Dapo came back to his senses and apologised for his actions.
After a few weeks, Dapo started again by calling her all sorts of unpleasant names. That is when she finally opened up to him about what she saw in the text she read. ‘’I am not like you Dapo, are you not even ashamed of yourself? You are having a secret affair with your best friend’s fiancée. You even got her pregnant and gave her twenty two thousand naira to abort it” Dapo denied ever having anything to do with Faith. The wife said to him: “I am not the one who will judge you, if you have any explanation, let it be to God. Do that before it is too late.
She told him he married her as a virgin, and that she was not using that as a yard stick to call herself a saint, “but if you will go around sleeping with other girls, please use protection, because you don’t know who has disease. I am just from the Hospital and the test result showed that I have STD, thank God is not HIV. I am currently on medication to threat myself” she added.
Those word’s got him angry and he threw her things outside the house, as usual. He said he cannot live with a woman that does not trust him. He now swore with the Holy Bible that since he met her he had NEVER slept with or kissed any lady.
Dapo got very angry and said “since you don’t trust me, you have to leave my house”. She said: “I will leave, but I want you to put it into writing.” Dapo refused and said if she did not leave his house, whatever befell her was her own fault.
Immediately, the wife had to call her sister to come over and be her witness. She came and asked, Dapo why he wanted his wife, (her sister) to leave the house. And he answered that he was just fed up of the marriage, she then asked him if he had any reason(s), and he replied, “NO.”
She had no option but to go back to her parents; she had never envisioned this but unfortunately, that is how it happened.
Faith finally decided to make peace with herself and God she put a call through to Dapo’s wife and sibling’s and made a total confession, (which was all recorded) she admitted she took in for him and aborted the pregnancy when it was four months, that Dapo gave her 22 thousand naira(N22,000) and recommended the doctor to her.
She called Dapo’s wife to plead and ask for forgiveness.
LISTEN TO THE TELEPHONE CONVERSATION… Between Faith Egbezien and Dapo’s Wife
…….other audio records will be upload soon …..